User-agent: * Allow: / Trenton Butcher Block: If You Want a Terrible, Overpriced Banquet, Hold It at the Hamilton Manor

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Commentary on national and local events from the standpoint of a Trenton city resident and state worker.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

If You Want a Terrible, Overpriced Banquet, Hold It at the Hamilton Manor

I had the unfortunate experience of being "treated" to a bad banquet at the Hamilton Manor yesterday.  I am writing this posting to warn anyone who is even thinking to schedule an event there to forget about it.  The stuff is overpriced and the food is just plain nasty.

My wife's department had a lady retiring and the Worker's Compensation shop decided to hold a party for her at the Hamilton Manor Friday night.  The Hamilton Manor is located at the former Polish American Club building in Yardville.  It is just down the street from Yardville Supply and the Take It Easy bar.

The party was $35 per head.  According to my wife, the gift only price was $5, so I presume $30 went toward the meal.  What does $30 buy you at the Hamilton Manor.  Try an appetizer buffet consisting of pizzas on toast, anchovy bruchetta, cheese balls with the cheese fried out of them (the middle was hollow)., rice balls that picked up a fish flavor from the oil and single pieces of shrimp stuck in a plastic cup with cocktail sauce.  You also got all the cola you could drink.  I-M-P-R-E-S-S-I-V-E!   I went to the bar. (cash bar of course) and ordered a scotch and water made out of the worst scotch imaginable.  I'd say it tastes like water from a peat bog loaded with dead Scotsmen.  So I switched to a Bombay Sapphire martini served dry and up.  For all you teetotalers, that means just gin, no vermouth, served without ice.  I don't know how you ruin a glass of pure gin, and even they couldn't mess that up.  However the price was $12 which is enough to make anyone want to puke.

I was waiting for the main course to come out.  The answer:  forgetaboutit, there ain't any.  For desert, we had a chocolate fountain (nice touch admitadly), stale biscottis, Oreo cookies and stale hamatashes (Jewish cookies that are filled with lekavar)  the Jewish cookies were as equally stale and out of the box as the Italian biscotti.

The total cost for the night out was $92, including a $1 tip for the barmaid.  I took my wife out to the Olive Garden tonight.  We has two meals with a main course and soup and salad.  She drank coke and I had two Bombay Sapphire martinis and two pitchers of coffee.   We also had zepoli, which are like donuts.  One order feeds two people.  I left the waitress an $8 tip.  Total cost $70.  So I got two real meals, left a good tip and still saved $20.  So avoid the shithole in Yardville and go somewhere else like the Nottingham Ballroom or Mastoris.  You won't regret taking my advice and your guests will thank you for it..

1 comment:

  1. Vicious and hilarious, kind sir. I hope they don't sue you. If they do, fuck 'em.